Back from the Dead

The title of this post has a dual meaning.  Number one, it's been a long time since I've written anything, so hello audience!  Anyone out there still?  Number two, I woke up the other day feeling pretty much like death.  I should've known it was coming.  I had seen the sad watery eyes of my children and understood it was only a matter of time until I was hit.  But knowing it's coming doesn't actually prepare you in any way for the arrival of such a sad state.  So when I woke up that morning, I knew I was F***ed. Thankfully my nanny arrived as planned so I stayed home from work and slept all day.  I woke up around 5 pm to have a sip of chicken soup and utter 2 words to my children.  Even after having slept the whole day, I still felt god awful.  I gave my nanny desperate eyes and she agreed to put my children to bed while I retreated to my room to shiver under a pile of blankets for the rest of the night.  My kids must have known it was bad, too.  Before climbing into my bed that night my eldest actually knocked on my door.  And my youngest waited until almost 3 am to join the party.  Say what you will about co-sleeping, but this was rather considerate behavior for my guys.  I woke up the next day still achy and stuffy but the feeling of death had surpassed.  I was going to be okay!  A normal person would've appreciated this improvement but taken another day to recover.  But as a single mom, I don't always feel like I have an option.  So I went to work.  And I made it through the day successfully!  By the time I got home, I was tired and ready to snuggle with my favorite people.  We had a snack.  We watched a show.  We cuddled and shared stories about our day.  We brushed teeth.  We got into bed.  I was too tired to read or tell a story, all I could offer was a song.  They were both tired too.  They were ready for my song.

Night Night Jack.

Night Night Rory.

Night Night Brothers.

It's time to go to bed.

It was a pretty simple song, but it was our song.  And they both loved it because it magically had their names in it.  Usually I repeated this for them several times until the first child fell asleep.  However on this night, I was only halfway through the 3rd round when I broke off into a coughing spell.  And at that exact moment, the most precious thing happened.  My oldest jumped in and began singing right where I left off.  He didn't miss a beat.  He just kept going in his sweet voice while I was choking away on my cough.  He caught me when I went down.  Pretty amazing, right?  For a 5 year old?  And he looked at me so proud because he knew I needed him in that moment.  

I layed with them a little longer feeling blessed and amazed and so in love with my children.  But more powerful than that, for the first time in a VERY long time, I felt inspired to write.  I wanted to capture this moment.  I wanted to tell my story. I wanted to share with all of you.  At the pace of life these days I don't know when I will get the time or motivation to do this again.  So I hope you enjoyed this read.  And until next time...all the best.