Take a Step Back

As mothers, we find unique and impressive ways to stretch ourselves every day.  The to do list never seems to end.  The time for ourselves seems to dimish more and more each day yet we continue to be present and deliver for our kids.  I'm not sure how that is-it just happens.  There are preschool forms. Doctors appointments that need to be made.  Shopping trips to multiple stores (Costco has the best price for the amount of milk my children consume but they absolutely love the yogurt at Trader Joe's). Sometimes I feel as though I don't even have a second to go to the bathroom (and most certainly, if I do- it won't be by myself!)

For me, parenthood seems even slightly more complex for one basic reason:  I am doing it all by myself.  I am a single working mother raising 2 little boys.  I am paying my mortgage and coordinating the appointment with an appliance guy when my washing machine starts leaking.  I am feeding and clothing two growing boys.  I am making sure the soccer socks and shin guards are not only purchased, but they are also packed when my boys go to their dad's this weekend.  (I also need to be sure my Ex has all the information regarding time and location for the soccer game.) I absorb emails from my son's preschool teacher to stay current with what he was doing in school.   I want my kids to be safe, healthy and happy.  I want them to know they are loved.

It's not always easy and I certainly don't always know what I am doing.  I struggle sometimes with the limits and when to really put my foot down.  Right now I'm trying to teach my 4 year old to make his bed in the mornings.  I've called this his "job" at home (as that is the vernacular used in his preschool class).  He is to wake up, get dressed (PUT HIS DIAPER IN THE GARBAGE!) and make his bed.  Then he can watch a show.  Some mornings are more successful than others.  He is tired and I am running late, so I put the show on and pick up the diaper and allow my nanny to make the bed when she arrives.  Some mornings we split the difference and the show comes on but the bed is made when my youngest awakes.  

The other morning, for example, he woke up and went downstairs.  I hit snooze 2-3 more times while hearing my son call to me from the kitchen requesting something to eat.  I finally slid out of bed and on my way to the stairs noticed his bed was already made.  When I got to my son, he was fully dressed (including shoes!) and ready to start the day.  I could not have felt more proud in that moment.

I was sharing the story with my mom on my way into work and once again the magnitude of everything I was doing hit me.  I had never planned my life to look this way.  I didn't want to be a single mom.  I didn't want to feel constant pressure at work and at home.  I never would've imagined that I would be solely responsible for raising 2 little people!  BUT I WAS DOING IT!  Then at that very moment, my mom pointed out something- probably the most important thing- to note.

And you are enjoying it.

Her words were so simple and yet so true.  I mean afterall, wasn't that kind of the point?  Weren't we all chasing that goal of ultimately being happy?  Here I was conquering motherhood every day…and when I stopped to think about it, my mom was right.  I was enjoying my kids- the ups and the downs.  I was laughing harder than I had ever laughed and I was smiling brightly from the two most amazing little people I knew.  I was in a good place.

So here is my advice to all you wonderful moms out there.  Scratch that item off your to do list today because you've accomplished it.  But take a moment to step back and really look at what you are doing.  YOU ARE DOING IT!  You are amazing, ambitious, organized, creative, successful, loving women and your children are very lucky.  Remember this.  And enjoy it.